Comic, Camp and Creepy: The Maleficent Seven by Cameron Johnston

It is not often that I am seduced into requesting a book based on its cover. In fact very recently I have criticised a book because the cover failed to live up to the narrative inside. But in the case of this book I admit I was seduced both by the title, I have a fetish for the number seven, The Seventh Seal and The Seven Samurai are among my most favourite movies, and the cover, I just knew I had to have it.

Do I regret this weakness? Not a bit. This was a good book, in a very rare form of fantasy, should we call it brutalist comedy? Or comic brutality? Anyway, a form of fantasy that it must be incredibly difficult to write; something that makes you laugh and cringe at the same time... 

One of the things that from the beginning that got this crone's seal of approval is that four of the seven are female, including the leader, the shifty demonologist. The other female characters are the necromancer, the pirate Queen and the orc (I mean the sex doth not the orc make, does it? And an orc in either sex would be as brutish). The male characters are the vampire, who is black (another break with the genre), the former war God and the MAD MAD alchemist, who no one likes. In fact the maleficent seven are truly maleficent, and they don't like each other very much at all. 

Now this may be one of the issues with the book, if you have a bunch of characters who are fundamentally evil and all betraying and backstabbing each other as well as the supposed goodies, it is difficult to find a sympathetic focus within the story. I never particularly found one, I think perhaps overall the characters most sympathetic to me was the vampire followed by the God. This is not much of a problem for somebody like myself, I mean I like Succession for God's sake, so I don't necessarily need an appealing character within the story to enjoy it, but it does help, and many people do.

However, the presumptive goodies are even worse. Whereas the maleficents all have their own respective ruthless personalities at least they seem to tolerate individuality, the goodies are Taliban level fanatics, using the justification of a religion based on beauty to repress, massacre and enslave the populace.

One of the main strengths of this novel is the plotting, which is pretty faultless, very much like The Seven Samurai, it is based on defending the demonologist's village from the fanatics. The world building is also extremely accomplished.

One weakness I perceived was the dialogue, I found it a bit stultifying, a bit slow, it should have flown freer it should have been funnier... I can't help but think that the author missed an opportunity here.

Would I recommend The Maleficent Seven to a friend? Yes, I definitely would, but only to that rather special friend with whom I share a tough stomach and a twisted sense of humour...

Counselling the Monster: The Devil You Know, by Gwen Adshead and Eileen Horne

This is an important, informative and also, morally, a very beautiful book.

Dr  Gwen Adshead (a forensic psychotherapist, Visiting Professor of Psychiatry at Gresham College, Jochelson visiting professor at the Yale School of Law and Psychiatry, and consultant forensic psychiatrist at Ravenswood House), seeks to determine no more and no less what causes people to behave in a violent and criminal manner. This is not a search for justification she makes very clear, but a search for explanation, meaning, with the aim of preventing such behaviour in the future and thus, make a significant contribution to human happiness, both in terms of the criminals themselves and their potential victims.

In a similar manner to the books of Oliver Sacks it is structured around a series of case histories. These are composites and they are used both to conceal the identities of the patient or patients concerned and to solidify the type of criminal conduct on which Dr Adshed is seeking to shed light. 

We are introduced to the notion of the "bicycle lock" a sort of five figure number that triggers the crime. The first two numbers of the pin are pre-existing, socio-political and unalterable, such as poverty, genetics or violence in the family home, the second two numbers are factored in to the person's life as they grow up, particular events, education, drugtaking et cetera, and the last number is the particular occurrence that triggers the crime, the last penny to drop, the unleashing.

The crimes covered are carefully selected: serial murder, gang violence, child abuse etc.

Dr Adhead's aim is to get her patients to recognise the reasons for their behaviour and gently coax them towards empathy, towards an understanding of the pain they have inflicted on their victims. She makes clear that for many this will not be a clement process, that if she is successful they will suffer more, at least in the short term, but she deems it necessary so they may eventually truly forgive themselves and heal. Thus, we are offered a complete biography of most of perpetrators this helps to contextualise and understand their crimes, which is the main thrust of the book, and then we witness, for most anyway, their slow plodding progress towards enlightenment. 

Ironically, there are actually only two offenders that Dr Adshead believes may be unredeemable, uncomfortably, they are both middle-class, well educated and white; privileged, in other words. The first, a solicitor, no less because she seems to meet the classic definition of mad, since a deep part of her, seemingly beyond the aid of either therapy or drugs, seems to be entirely out of touch with reality, although her presentation outside of this kernel of irrationality is highly organised and effective and therefore, deceptive. The second, a man and a former doctor, is because he is protected by his unassailable privileged position in society, is addicted to sadistic child pornography. Limited kudos to him, unlike the solicitor, at least he recognises he may actually have a problem, but ultimately he refuses to seek effective help for it, and cannot be persuaded to do so. One of the few comic moments of this book occurs when Dr Adshead confesses that she would rather be counselling one of her former criminal patients in Broadmoor, Britain's main high security mental asylum, then this apparently urbane GP, in her comfortable private practice.

This book is priceless one of the best endeavours I have encountered, I do not hesitate to recommend it, even for lovers (I confess I belong to that number myself) of true crime because it is invaluable in helping understand what makes those who have committed crimes tick, indeed, what makes us all, tick...

A Response to Andrea Long Chu

 

Where to start with this one? I suggest we start with the positive, a transwoman who is self-reflexive enough to admit to autogynephilia, is rarer than hen’s teeth. Generally, transwomen tend to be completely superficial, and this is one of the issues that feminists take with them, all surface, no depth. So kudos to Chu here.

However, this is virtually undone by what he writes next, autogynephilia, he asserts, is the “basic structure of all human sexuality”. Oh, come on! This is a classic case of projection, the pervert whose inner belief and defence is that other people are as perverted as he is.

The assertion is wrong on at least two counts, first an autogynephile is a narcissist. Narcissus gazes into the pool entranced, but the person he sees gazing back at him is Narcissa, his imaginary projection as a woman (the technical name for this is erotic-target identity inversion; I know, it’s a bit of a mouthful). Narcissus languishes by the pool and eventually dies. He is not productive, he does not socialise, he does not share, he does not reproduce, rather he wastes away in self contemplation. Narcissus is a moral, evolutionary, and physiological dead end. If autogynephilia were the “basic structure of all human sexuality” none of us would be here, and humanity would have become extinct a long time ago.

The second count is that autogynephilia is a perversion, a perversion is a "Distortion or corruption of the original course, meaning, or state of something." In order for a perversion to exist there must be an “original course”; a “straight and narrow” for every deviation. We cannot all be perverts and deviants, or queer, because then what is perverted, deviant and queer would be the norm, the original course. So, if autogynephilia were the “basic structure of all human sexuality”, all of us would be autogynephiles and Chu would not stick out like the sore, sad little thumb he is.

But that phrase is a work of genius compared to the incongruence of what follows: “The assimilation of any erotic image, is, by nature, female.” What under the high heavens is he burbling about here? Do we “vagina havers” hoover up erotic images as if we were some kind of supercharged sexual sponges? Are we all the bloody Borg? Why is the vast majority of porn consumed by men, then, what’s with that? Does Chu have any knowledge or experience of what being female actually entails? No, of course he doesn’t; he is a man an speaks like one, one who is completely lost.

This hysterical delirium continues… “To be female in every case [Wow! In every case…], is to become what someone else wants.” Verily, only a man, and only a man whose brain is half rotten with delusions of superiority and masculinity could say such a thing in the 21st century. Female is not becoming “what someone else [presumably male] wants”, tell that to hyenas, or lionesses, or wolves. This doesn’t apply to humans either, much as Chu would like it to. And only a transwoman, given that we are supposed to worship them as holy cows, even where they are dim and bovine, would be allowed to get away with saying it.

“At bottom [surely the definite article is missing here?], everyone is a sissy.” To which the natural riposte is “Speak for yourself, mate!”. Another variant of the “everyone is a pervert” of the first phrase and subject to the same objections, how can there be bottoms without tops or sissies without butches?

But he isn’t finished yet, oh no, now comes the veritable cherry on this prurient piss poor conceptual pile on… “The asshole is a universal vagina through which femaleness can always be accessed.” Excuse me, Chu, but only a cuntless prick could say that an arsehole is the same as a vagina. There are differences, you know. Here are several clues immediately available even to the slowest man. First, locative; “Cunts at the Front” (it rhymes, see? It might help you remember) … Arseholes at the back… Just in case you’ve gone a bit dizzy. Second, productive: Turds come out of arseholes, babies out of cunts, indeed, you yourself, Chu, came out of one. And third, sexual, and even more significant, ONLY REAL, NATAL WOMEN HAVE CUNTS, an arsehole being an entirely inadequate replacement. Women, lucky us, have both and arsehole and a cunt but you don’t; which is obviously why you’re a little confused on the issue. Simply put, then, your arsehole will not pass muster as a cunt, and you cannot access femaleness.

And there it is. Whatever name he cares to call himself, Chu is a man. He will never be a woman, he will never have a cunt or a vagina, he doesn’t know what it is to be a woman and he doesn’t actually think like one. He has confused the submissiveness that often passes for femininity, with womanhood, which encompasses the entire gamut of female adult behaviours and ways of being. He is a sad aberration who is attempting to assuage his drear reality by dragging the rest of us, but especially women, into his silly, insignificant, fantasy world, littered with rubbish and infantile ideas papered over with empty phrasing…

 

Chu, please, grow up, man up and get a fucking life.

Strong, colourful fantasy: The Blacktongue Thief by Christopher Buehlman

This was a very pleasant surprise. When I first saw it on the #NetGalley selection pages, I hesitated because it was fantasy, my favourite genre, and then decided to pass it over, probably because of the cover and because I didn't know the author. The next time, fortunately, I decided to select it. This is an unmissable picaresque tale. 

The world building is extremely original and vivid. Manreach is mainly inhabited by women because most of the men have died in successive wars against the goblins. The different human nations and nationalities are vividly portrayed. So although a protagonist is male there are any number of female characters of all descriptions: knights, witches, assassins, fencing masters, infantas, pirates, even giants. There are no horses in this world because the goblins killed them using biological warfare. Buehlman's portrayal of goblins and their culture is the best I have found, he manages to make them both disagreeable and at the same time strangely compelling. Magic is strong and folksy, some of it seems to derive from the magic of classic fairytales, such as those of the Brothers Grimm (no, I don't mean the Disney versions), or Russia.

 

Like all good picaresque tales this is told in the first person, our hero is a low ranked thief or Prank, attempting to make his way in this world, it has to be said not very successfully, when he becomes embroiled in a quest that seems far bigger than himself. The language is rich and salty there are swear words aplenty used to great effect in dialogue, descriptions and scabrous doggerel, which often made me laugh out loud. There are also several very strong scenes, Manreach is a brutal, violent place, the sensitive should therefore be wary. Overall this is a riveting book and I hope there are more in the series.

But Tor/Macmillan,  what the hell is with that drear, soulless cover? This is a tale full of rich colour and life, you should be illustrating it to reflect that.

As always, thanks to #NetGalley for allowing me to preview this text.

The Candid Killing Machine: Fugitive Telemetry by Martha Wells

Our protagonist describes themself as: "A construct made of cloned human tissue, augments, anxiety depression and unfocused rage...", Unsurprisingly they have given themselves the un-complementary name of "Murderbot", and this is the fifth novella in the Murderbot series.

Since all these novellas are written exclusively in the first person Murderbot's personality and their narrative capacity is essential to their success. This is a huge score, the thing about Murderbot is their candour, both about themselves and their reactions but especially in their view of humanity. Murderbot doesn't really approve of most humans, with a few honourable exceptions, and their deadpan portrayal of humanity's many, many foibles and their reaction to them is one of the most engaging aspects of these stories. 

Murderbot was originally a security bot conceived specifically to protect the "human capital" investments of intergalactic insurance companies. (Please note these are not spoilers you will find a summary of Murderbot's back story in this novella). This involved taking on alien predators but more often than not, other humans. 

Murderbot's personality is that of a surly but gifted and conscientious teenager. That they come over as youthful and immature is hardly surprising given that in the first novella, they somehow acquired the ability to hack their governing module and began to think and act for themselves. And what did Murderbot want to do once it had acquired the precious gift of freedom? Why, of course! Spend hour upon hour streaming trashy telenovelas... But sometimes it just has to go out and deal with a few pesky humans.

So, to sum up, Murderbot is basically a killing machine with the personality of a surly teenager and the candour of a saint, addicted to watching TV series with a romantic bent.

Happily, it has fallen in with a group of basically decent and intelligent humans and this is where we find them at the beginning of this novella, being loaned out, completely at their own volition, to act as an external security consultant for the human-run team of a space station tasked with solving a puzzling murder with possible terrorist implications.

This is the first novella where we have seen Murderbot take on the role of detective and it works. The dry humour mostly at humanity's expense, but occasionally at Murderbot's, is as fresh and vivid in this most recent instalment as it is in the others.

If you like your sci-fi with laughs, read Murderbot. 

Timeless Humour: One Day All This Will Be Yours, by Adrian Tchaikovsky

 

A dude with a fetish for Soviet tractors lives a solitary but extremely contented life beyond the reach of time. He also has, of course, a partially feathered pet Allosaurus called Miffly. In order to retain dominion over his little corner of Eden he has to do certain things… I need to stop here because if I told you what that was, I might will be giving away the main plot of this extremely funny book.

Sometimes when I felt I need to cheer up due to living through these times of plague I have selected a few books from the NetGalley humour section. This book wasn’t under humour, but in the sci-fi and fantasy section, and because I had read and enjoyed a previous book by Adrian Tchaikovsky (Bear Head, see https://clarianabhc.blogspot.com/2020/12/great-bear-bear-head-by-adrian.html), I downloaded it. Apart from being sci-fi it is also one of the funniest books I have read: “… And if hunting someone down with a dinosaur isn't old-fashioned, I don’t know what is.”

If you love the murderbot stories or Terry Pratchett, you will love this.

Classic LA Noir: "Serpentine" by Jonathan Kellerman

 Serpentine is the 36^th Alex Delaware novel and I have read every one of them.

Jonathan Kellerman is one of a select band of my go-to authors. These are authors whose books I will always eagerly order before they are even published and when I get them in my hot, eager hands, they tend to last less than two days. One day I will write an article dedicated to this group, but for now let’s talk about Mr Kellerman and his work.

I have been a fan since the mid-80s when I was introduced to Kellerman’s novels by a work colleague, yes hard to believe, almost FORTY YEARS. Given my age I can’t really claim to have “grown up” with Kellerman what I can say is that I have aged with him, which, when you think about it, is perhaps even more laudable.

What do I find so compelling? Well in the first place there is the main cast of characters, basically Alex Delaware, a child psychologist and consulting psychologist, his partner, Robin Castagna, a luthier, their pet, latterly a French bulldog called, Blanche, and of course gay LAPD detective Milo Sturgis, there are a cast of secondary characters some of whom have even starred in their own novels, but I have to say I have never found them to be quite so compelling as the original quartet.

And then there is ambience, Kellerman always gives you throwaway but compellingly detailed descriptions of the different areas of LA, a smattering of history a brief description of the landscape, food, architectural styles, décor, or flora. Dialogue is fast and witty. Plotting is occasionally contrived but strangely satisfying. There is always a clear ending.

Serpentine belongs to the sub “historical” group of Delaware novels, novels based on the past.  A highly successful entrepreneur wants to know what happened to her mother, she has one photograph of her, wearing the serpentine necklace of the title, and a smattering of recollections gleaned from the man who brought her up but is now dead. Milo is called by the brass to resolve this coldest of cases.

The plot is as twisty and turny as the name suggests and there are some nice flashbacks to the flamboyant 80s in LA and a series of killings. We also get to learn a little more about Dr Rick Silverman, Milo’s partner.

Classic Kellerman. A riveting read.

 

A Butterfly Tethered to A Slug: The Last Thing to Burn by Will Dean

 

“My name is not Jane.”

This is the stuff of my nightmares. A woman is held prisoner by man and is compelled to comply with his every whim. If she attempts to escape, he will break her ankle, if she fails to obey an order, he will burn one of the few “personal” possessions she has left, effectively erasing her personal history and the inner life she clings to. He ensures she becomes addicted to strong painkillers in order to better ensure her compliance and her passivity. Her day-to-day existence is a misery of fear, loathing, housework, drudgery, and rape.

Somehow this is all made even worse by the fact that the man in question is the dumpy child of a drab culture whereas the woman is a living spark from a culture full of beauty and vividness, it is as if a slug had enslaved a butterfly.

I picked up distinct vibes here not only of contrasting differences between the sexes but between different ways of life. Is this a post Brexit novel? I very much think it is. The dull farmer with his flat life, bland food and unimaginative lovemaking seems to be the epitome of British cultural isolation. He also has all the prejudices inherent to those who voted for Brexit, the obtuse intolerance and misunderstanding of other ways of existence, the completely unmerited sense of superiority, the hatred and prejudice of everything and anything foreign.

This is a hard, hard novel to read, I found it unbearable in parts, but I could not put it down. If you have the stomach for it, you will discover it is definitely one of the best books of 2020 and probably even of 2021. 

Thank you as always to Netgalley for making an ARC copy of this text available to me.

A Supernatural Prison Break: Strange Ways by Gray Williams

This is another instalment set in the creepy universe created by Gray Williams in which magic is real, demons exist, and practitioners and summoners have mostly been co-opted by organised crime.

Due to the fact that a wave of uncharacteristic liberalism has led to the automatic death penalty usually applied to those practising magic being commuted, there are now also, of course, special magic-resistant jails created to hold such people, the Strange Ways to which the title of this book alludes (Strangeways being an actual category “A” prison in Manchester).

The main plot of this novel is therefore a prison break, an attempt by the daughter of an incarcerated practitioner to liberate her mother, using her supernatural gifts to create new-fangled black-market magic-based drugs that directly impact the emotional state of the users to generate funds. All her plans are, naturally, rent asunder.

The world portrayed is an extremely seedy and depressing version of the UK convincingly bought to life. The writing is visceral, and the narrative is full of twists and turns with some impressive plot developments along the way.

I will definitely continue to read the books in this series.